Relationships tend to be dominated by emotionality or mutual devotion. One leads to problems and the other success.
Examples of relationships characterized by emotion would include those where there is a great deal of conflict, an anger problem or a histrionic personality. These relationships tend to be controlled by emotion, and swing from one mood to another quite quickly, depending on changing circumstances and the emotions being expressed — emotions which tend to disfigure communication and cloud the relationship.
In contrast, a relationship whose partners have a high degree of devotion tends to be more level and consistent. Both partners put the relationship first and are committed to each other, and know how to weather the storms calmly. Their emotions do not overpower or tilt the relationship off balance. And their communication style reflects their devoted love for each other — a secret of a great relationship.
Devoted partners give freely of their time, attention and the self.
When great, abiding devotion is present in a relationship, although the relationship may be imperfect, as they all are, problems and upheavals tend not to knock the relationship into crisis. Plus, devotion tends to create a rock-hard foundation that confers countless benefits.
Which kind of relationship do you have, an emotion-laden or devoted relationship?
Tips For Increasing Devotion
In some relationships one partner is deeply devoted but the other isn’t. These can be challenging relationships in which the devoted partner may feel a sense of constant frustration. Things improve only when the less devoted partner becomes more committed to the relationship.
In other relationships, there may be a low sense of devotion on the part of both spouses. In either case, the sense of devotion can be enhanced.
– Increase intimacy and friendship. One way is to start having more fun together and enjoying each other’s company, rather than finding stimulation outside the relationship.
– Design the relationship so it is more interesting and attractive to both parties. It may be time to do something different together.
– Talk about the relationship and identify areas for growth and development. If an imbalance in devotion or commitment is an issue for one spouse, that spouse can bring it up for discussion and make the other aware of it. He or she should communicate his or her feelings in a caring way.
And remember this little maxim, “One partner should not carry most of the load . . . or there will be problems down the road.” Resentment has an adverse impact upon devotion!