You know the routine. You wake up in the morning and check your phone anticipating that first text of the day. You’ve come to expect it. After all, she belongs to you. You feel as though nothing will ever change. Life is good.
Suddenly, you glance at your phone and you realize that first text just isn’t there. You start wondering if something might be wrong, so you send a text asking if she’s alright and telling her to call you back. Of course, her reply never comes. Her call never comes. Then, it hits you. You’re being ignored, but why? What did you do? What did you say?
Here are 3 steps to take when you feel that you are being ignored by your girlfriend:
1. Give Her Space
Don’t panic. Breathe. Give her plenty of time to answer your initial call or text. Don’t continue to contact her asking “what’s going on?” Whether she is intentionally giving you the silent treatment or not, annoying her with excessive calls and texts will not make her respond any faster. Doing so will make you appear insecure and desperate, both of which will generally make you less attractive to her. If she wasn’t already ignoring you, she may very well start if you act obsessively or demanding towards her.
2. Don’t Assume
You may not even want to assume she is, in fact, ignoring you just yet. If she hasn’t already given you a reason for her being upset, then you shouldn’t jump to any conclusions. Assumptions can be very dangerous things in relationships. Your imagination will run wild if you let it, and without the facts, many if not all of your conclusions will be the wrong ones. If you start convincing yourself that there must be another guy involved, for example, you’ll likely feel compelled to confront her about it, and confronting her about a misconception will do more harm than good, I assure you.
3. Improve Yourself
Try to focus on the needs of your girlfriend that may not have been met in the relationship. What might you have done or avoided doing to meet those needs? While you shouldn’t have to bend over backwards to please your significant other or completely change who you are, it doesn’t hurt to improve on any parts of your personality that might be perceived as less than positive. Ask yourself, “what were the things that your ex loved about you the most in the beginning of the relationship?” If, for example, you were more outgoing earlier in the relationship and not so much so towards the end, why not try getting out and enjoying your hobbies and interests more?
The most important thing to remember when you feel as though you are being ignored by your girlfriend is that she is an individual just like yourself. Every individual has his/her own life, and like you, she may just need some time to enjoy her individuality on her own.