You’ve often experienced criticism, like everybody. And you’ve probably defended yourself. That common reaction will not be helpful when trying to get your girlfriend back. It will just confirm her opinion of you and push her farther away. But there’s another way to respond to criticism and attacks, justified or not. We’ll go over the first steps of an alternative to fighting back.
The first thing you need to do is something discovered by Benjamin Franklin. When younger, he delighted in finding flaws in other people’s thinking and winning arguments. But he noticed that he was losing friends and few people wanted to talk to him at all. So he used his knowledge of literature to find the best conversationalist in history.
It was Socrates, who also won arguments but also persuaded his opponents to his way of thinking. In the process, he made almost no enemies among those who actually talked to him. Franklin practiced Socrates’ way of talking — never disagree straight out, but find something to agree with. At the same time he would use a soft touch to add his own thoughts to the conversation if they would be useful to all concerned. This technique is so powerful that he was eventually sent to France as an ambassador. It can help you, too.
But what do you do if your girlfriend outright attacks you verbally? Here you can follow the lead of the porcupine. If it is attacked, it doesn’t fight back, it rolls into a ball so that its spines stick out. The other animal figures out finally that it’s no use to attack this creature, and stops. Now, if it’s your girlfriend we’re talking about, you don’t want to hurt her. But you do want the attack to stop and get back to more enjoyable conversation.
What you do to accomplish this is to maintain your stance of respect and love for her, while understanding why she’s upset. Eventually she’ll notice that you’re not retaliating, and slow down to find out what it is that you are doing. At this point, you’ll score some big points as well as showing her that you care enough not to speak harshly to her, and also that your love is stronger than your desire to protect yourself. This will help your chances to win back her love for you.
You now know something that few people seem to know, and even fewer actually do. It will help in all your relationships, especially this all-important one. Caution: do not use just to “win” arguments! Everyone will see right through your trick, including your girlfriend. That would not be a good thing. It can help you reach your goal of getting back together providing you really mean it. But of course you do, else why would you go to so much trouble to get her back? Best wishes in your quest.